Psalm 34:18

The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.


I created this blog to help people in their personal relationship with the Lord. I am a counselor at heart and my desire is to see people’s’ hearts healed in various areas through sharing my writings, and for people to know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. Psalm 34:18 is one of my favorite scriptures because it is when one is in a state of broken heartedness that the Lord comes in to heal and restore people’s hearts. -Judy-



On Miscarried/Unborn Babies: 9.1.17

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If a mom miscarries a baby, does the baby not exist anymore because the baby was never actually born? Does the baby disappear completely? I thought this quote would be neat to share for all the women who have miscarried or had an abortion and regretted it.

This is what man of God Sundar Selvaraj Sadhu had to say:

“Little children they go back to…Little babies who die in their mother’s stomach, those babies that you kill, those little children who die, they don’t disappear, they are all carefully kept in the hands of God. None is lost. You may kill, but God preserves them. Even those babies, women who suffer miscarriage is not lost. Is not lost . The ovum that comes out of the mother’s womb, is carefully collected by the angels and they bring them to heaven. From there, they grow. They grow from little babies, they all grow to adults.”-Sundar Selvaraj Sadhu August 27, 2017. The Trumpet Warning Conference Pt. 5

Youtube Video: 34:22- 35:11

What is An Abusive Leader? By: Sergio Vaquera- Youtube Video Transcript (Translated from Spanish to English)

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I watched a you tube video last night about how to recognize an abusive leader. Some of this qualities are hard to spot. Previously, I’ve said many don’t even know they are being abused or that they are being abusive. The key is to educate oneself and educate others. Also, know there is always room at the cross of Jesus Christ for forgiveness. If you see yourself in this, repent. The Lord is merciful and eager to forgive. Here are the notes I took from the message:

1 Corinthians: 4:1-21

-We are apostles, administrators of the gospel…- Sergio prayed, that the Lord speak through this.

*3 purposes of this video: -1) Lift up Jesus name 2) Reach lost 3) Edify the church- spread the gospel of Jesus Christ.

*When Jesus asked Peter: “Do you love me? …Feed my sheep!”

*Leaders have made themselves the Holy Spirit, they are lifting themselves up as God. They claim to be infallible. *There are many good leaders out there. *Bad leaders want you to fear them more than God.

Characteristics of an abusive leader:

1) They are the sole authority. They demand people to listen to them because they are the leader. They are not of God! In Jesus’s church, the pastor is not the boss, the deacon is not the boss, Jesus is the boss! We are to be governed by the book called the bible! We are to be governed by this book! If your pastor does not go by the bible, your leader and pastor is wrong! It doesn’t matter how much he studies or paid to buy the building. Jesus purchased his sheep with His blood! An abusive pastor will say “I am the boss of this church!” This is an abusive leader. This is an authoritative leader, a Fidel Castro! The leader must be loving. He must be a servant. He must help the people.

An abusive leader will not want people asking where their tithes and offering money go to. He will tell the people, “Don’t ask about where the tithes and offering are going to. Here, no one questions me. What do you think I’m a thief?” I will spend it according to the will of God! This is reverse psychology used to trick. They take out all kinds of scriptures and confuse you. Be very careful!

2) The leader will make you feel like nothing. The leader will keep bringing up your sins. Because the lower he can bring you down, the higher he can lift himself up. Leaders need to be healed. People need to help leaders. There should be a growth process.

3) The leader is partial and shows favoritism to ones and not others. Those who have been faithful and helpful to him are the good ones to him to him. He has a select group.  These leaders do not have the love of God. This is not the heart of God. This is a dictator. These leaders come dressed nice with body guards. They lift the leader high. They abuse authority. They say, “God gave me authority!” This is true, God gives His people authority but it has limits! When we pass these limits, it’s called abuse of power. The bible is very clear on what to do with the Lords Sheep! Protect, Heal, Restore, Protect, etc. It is your job!

4) They don’t trust anybody. They have the spirit of Saul. They are thinking someone is going to take away my throne. When David comes, he is jealous. They say Saul killed 1,000, but David killed his 10,000…I should kill him. They can’t bear the fact that anyone can preach or teach better than them. No! They cannot stand this! They are gods. Nobody is infallible. We are human beings!

5) They embarrass you in public. A leader should take you in private and talk to you. They should not embarrass you and say things about you from the pulpit. That is an abusive leader. These are leaders that God did not put in that place. They placed themselves there!

6) A leader that tries to take all the money they can out of you.

*There are good leaders out there! I have seen them! But also, leaders are not too submissive either. A good leader leads by example.

If you are in an abusive church, if they do these things to you, you are in the wrong place. Don’t let anyone make you less. You can ask questions! You can talk to your pastor. Ask questions if you are confused. If they tell you “shut up, you can’t ask questions”, this is called a synagogue of Satan. Be very careful. Ask questions to examine the word. Test this.



What Does Abuse Look Like II? Aug. 30. 17: The Cycle Of Violence

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-Have you ever had a friend who was clearly being abused by someone, but they couldn’t see it or they chose to deny it? In my previous post on What Does Abuse Look Like I? Aug. 24. 17, I provided a short glimpse of examples of different forms of abuse.

In this post, I will briefly illustrate a common example of the cycle of violence. I also wanted to emphasize that in many cases, this cycle gets progressively worse over time.

Many forms of abuse start off small and slowly overtime grows into something more severe. The victim over time becomes so used to it happening repeatedly, that they can’t sense that it is getting worse.

I’m here to open your eyes, so here goes:

-Ladies, picture this; your man comes home from work. “Babe, why aren’t the dishes done?” Your respond, “I was taking care of the kids. I had to run some errands then I went to pick up some groceries…”He interrupts you: “Don’t make up excuses, your just being lazy. You’re such a “____ “(You can fill in the blank.) Things may go from bad to worse and you both begin to argue. You might call each other a few names. He might then push you out of the way or explode in a fit of anger. He then takes your keys and leaves. He comes back home after a few hours holding a bouquet of flowers. He says “I’m sorry I hit you babe. If you would have kept everything clean I wouldn’t have gotten mad and I wouldn’t have done that to you. Things seem to get better. He kisses you on the cheek and decides to take you out to dinner to make up for what happened. A few days pass by and slowly tension begins to increase again over another seemingly small issue. This is a classic illustration of The Cycle of Violence.

Below, I wrote out three parts of this cycle. I also obtained this information from the Empower Yolo training I went through in April and May of 2017. Of course, I believe there are spiritual reasons behind this but we will stick to this information I learned for now:

3 parts to The Cycle of Violence:

  • Tension Building Phase: Feelings of, hopeless, fear, tension, anger, blaming, sense of “walking on eggshells” increases. -Kids may feel like they must side with one parent. The kids might try to hide, deny, distract, or try to be a “perfect child”
  • Explosions Phase: Abuser may become dangerously violent, and exhibit abusive behaviors (See previous post: What Does Abuse Look Like I? Aug. 24. 17).
  • Honey Moon Stage: In this stage, the victim is relieved that the angry incident is over. They may feel guilty or now hopeful that things will get better. Good feelings increase but there may still be a lingering feeling that another explosion will happen in the future. The good feelings slowly fade and then tension building phase begins again.


Like I have said before, the first step to ending any form of abuse or violence is by shedding light on the issue and increasing awareness.  By educating people, you are helping to free yourself and free others from this type of situation. Help spread the word!

What Does Abuse Look Like? August 24.17


In April and May of 2017, I took a training with Empower Yolo in Northern California. These training were centered around topics of sexual assault and domestic violence.  In these trainings, I got a clearer picture of what abuse can look like. I used to think that abuse was only physical, but there is actually much more to abuse than I once thought. In fact, many people do not know they are being abused or that they are being abusive. Below I have listed a few examples in six categories of abuse that I learned about.  I wrote out this list in order to spread awareness. I would like to add that this is not a complete list and many examples may overlap with one another.


  • Pushing, shoving, slapping, biting, pulling hair, kicking, strangling, locking you out of or inside of your house, keeping your keys from you so that you can’t drive your car, abandoning you in dangerous places, refusing to help you when you are sick, subjecting you to reckless driving, raping you, throwing things at you, spitting on you, taking your cell phone away so you can’t call for help.


  • Treats you like a sex object, dehumanizes you, saying that you would be sexually active with anyone available, insists that you dress in a more sexual way than you want to, insist on making you preform acts you don’t want to do, withhold sex or affection, calls you sexual names, rapes you, forces you to take your clothes off when you don’t want to, publicly shows sexual interest in others, brings home and forces you to watch unwelcomed pornography, makes you have sex with other people for money or pleasure. (Ladies)-getting pregnant on purpose to gain control or manipulate a man.


  • Denying you access to your own bank accounts, making you account for all of your spending, creates dependency, forces you to work or refuses to let you work, sabotages your work or school, runs up debts in your name, engages in excessive spending, breaks things that must be replaced, causes you to get evicted.


  • Ignores your feelings, intimidates you, makes fun of your race, heritage, class, or gender, withholds approval as a form of punishment, criticizes you or calls you names in front of others, insults your family of friends, makes all decisions for you, controls your actions, manipulates you and lies with contradictions, isolates you from your family/friends, rationalizes things that were hurtful, looks like an “angel” to everyone else but changes when no one is looking, blames you for everything, uses gas lighting to confuse your mind, controls the way you perceive reality, controls the way your family members or friends see you.


  • Isolates you from people who can be supportive of you, destroys your self-esteem through unrelenting words or actions, separates you from things that are important to your identity, calling you crazy, saying “God said…” to manipulate you into engaging in destructive behaviors.


  • Threatening to post private pictures on social media as a form of blackmail, uses cell phone apps to track or stalk you, sends threatening text messages/emails.

I strongly believe that the first step to ending abuse is being able to recognize it when it is happening and then educating one another and spreading awareness of what it looks like. Nobody deserves to be abused.


True Revolutionaries August 4.17

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True revolutionaries are hated by people in their life time because they they stir conflict out of righteous indignation and a passion for justice. They meet many on the journey, meeting people who pretend to have their back but end up betrayed. As result the die alone. No one can go where they go. Their passion for love of people and truth drives them on. It is only after they die, they are recognized as great and their heart of love is clearly revealed. Wow…How I wanna be like Jesus.

Emergency Medical Technicians July 26.17

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An Emergency Medical Technician is not concerned about a patient crying in pain when he’s cutting you open to save your life, especially when he is going in to remove the root cause. A patient is given immediate emergency medical attention. He is then taken to a hospital to recover and enjoy a healthy life.

In the same way, a true lover of God is not concerned to hurt your feelings when warning you about the most lethal heart condition known to man called sin. They are trying to save your soul from the eternal pits of hell. Jesus is the healer of the heart and in him you find eternal life.

The True Kingdom Of God July 25.17

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Jesus instructed us to make disciples and proclaim the kingdom. He sent them out. He never told us to make mega buildings and put the label church on it.

Jesus knew He himself was the church…He called himself the temple. This is why religious leaders hated him.

Jesus hung out with 12 friends. He had his hands full with these 12 but he genuinly loved them. He taught them stuff. He knew them each by name.

How well do you know your leaders and fellow congregants? Do they teach you to follow Jesus and show you your need for Jesus? Do these people really know you personally?

I can’t imagine making diciples in megachurches.

Someone please correct me if I’m wrong! I want to know what the truth is! Can anybody out there help me understand??? Am I wrong?? I am open to correction if I am.

A Word to Church Goers: Take Care of Your Body: July 24.17

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This word is to the true followers of Christ inside the Christian congregations.
I want to give you some insight about the spiritual condition of some of your pastors and leaders.
Many pastors and leaders are wounded and hurt. Over time they have slowly fallen away from the truth. They are apostate. I tell you the truth! Their time has been taken up with people and helping them with their problems that they have not had a chance to take a shower…spiritually speaking. They have become complacent.
They have not taken the time to bathe in God’s presence to wash off all the dirt from themselves. Some haven’t taken a shower in months or years! They have been contaminated, diseased, and they are in a very dangerous place.
A leader who does not take the time to regularly wash the spiritual dirt off themselves will inevitably dirty and may even disease the members of the congregation. They will be desensitized to sin. They will be unable to truly hear God’s voice and they will consequentially knowingly or unknowingly operate in a witchcraft spirit. From the pulpit, they will speak out of gossip, try to manipulate or entertain you. They will not warn against sin and they will not tell you about Jesus and his work on the cross but will instead lift themselves and their ministry up.
If you can see this, it is your responsibility to help your leaders. I will give you three ways you can do this.
-Don’t talk bad about the leaders to other members. When you do this, you are harming an already diseased part of the body, and doing the work of Satan. Instead, first pray for them because they have a huge responsibility before the Lord. God will judge them more harshly in the end so leave that in God’s hands. You are to love them. Pray for them and their families as they are often most targeted by the enemy. Your leaders need your prayers. Show them mercy and grace.
-Gently approach them and ask them with sincerity, how you can pray for them. Then pray for them in your private time and pray for them in a group with other true believers.
-Serve your leaders so that they can be alone with God in Prayer. If they have kids, baby sit them, cook them a meal. Do something so that they can spend time alone with God so they can take that much needed spiritual shower that is long overdue!
If the leader doesn’t want to repent, consider leaving the congregation and ask the Lord to lead you. Pray before you do this. Let the Holy Spirit guide you. Stay in relationship with those who you know are true. Meet regularly in your homes to pray, worship, and seek the Lord.
Remember, when one part of the body suffers, the entire body suffers. Cut out the disease, be a vessel of healing and restoration. Take care of your body.

What’d You Do with The Money? July 21.17

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Friends, if you are in the kingdom of God, you have been given spiritual coins or a coin. You were given a spiritual personal check or money order with you name on it. You can call this your talent or talents.

When you stand before God on judgment day, He will ask you: “Son or Daughter, What did you do with the money I gave you?”

Did you invest it in the stock market? Did you take that risk to multiply it and make it grow?

Or were you afraid of losing the money? Did you compare yourself to someone else and say I’m not good enough? I’m afraid. That other person is more talented than I am so I won’t even try.
These two people will have very different eternal outcomes. Study Mathew 25:14-30.
Examine yourselves friends, your eternal destiny depends on it.

How To Hear And Be Heard By God July 20.17

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God Loves You. He desires to speak to you and through you, but how many times have you asked yourself the question; why can’t I hear God?” Well, I promise you that if you do that things written below, you will hear God and God will hear you;

1) Seek God and his truth wholeheartedly “You will seek me and you will find me when you seek me with all of your heart”-Jeremiah 29:13

You must be hungry for the truth of God and you must do this whole heartedly. Pray and read your bible. Spend time with people who are actively pursuing God’s presence. When you put your full efforts into cultivating a heart for God and his truth, I guarantee you that he will show up.

Part of seeking truth includes searching for and rooting out lies and false facts from your heart. For example, many subconsciously believe the lie that God only speaks only through a well-known popular religious leader. Yes, there are times God may use them to speak to you and build you up, but understand that no one should be solely dependent upon another human being to access God. God has his family the body of believers to speak God’s messages to one another. Jesus is the only one you can and should depend on daily to gain direct access to God the Father.

2) Get your sin in check: “But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that He will not hear.” -Isaiah 59:2

Sin blocks God’s voice and manifestation in your life. If you want to really hear God and have God hear you, you must cry out to God for a new heart. You must turn you heart against willful sin. We will always struggle with this as long as we are alive in this body, but as long as you make an intentional effort in the direction against sin, He will work with you in the process. You will slowly grow out of sin each day and progress into clean living, which God loves. If you don’t know what sin is in your life, ask Him to show you. Believe me He will answer that prayer.

3) Get your pride in check: “If my people, which are called by my name shall humble themselves, and pray and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then I will hear from heaven, and forgive their sin, and will heal their land.” 2nd Chronicles 7:14.

This verse also applies to getting your sin in check, but it first talks about having humble heart. I call this the “I can change my own diaper mentality.” Refer to my previous post- Let Jesus Change Your Diaper. The truth is you cannot cleanse yourself from your own sin. Jesus overcame it for us, if you are in Jesus, you have the power to say no to sin, but you must do your part too and fight!

4) Spend quiet time with God: “But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your father who is unseen, then your father, who sees what is done in secret will reward you. “Mathew 6:6

There are so many distractions. Noise, entertainment, social media the list goes on. Set a regular quiet time with God. This can be hard at first because this is what happens, you sit down and close your eyes. You will quickly remember everything written on your To Do list. This is the enemy trying his hardest to distract you from prayer because it is powerful weapon. Begin to thank him for all the good things in your life. Then ask for forgiveness for your sins and express your heart to Him. God loves that! Seek him in secret and he will reward you with his presence!

5) Look out for the gentle wisher: “After the earthquake came a fire, but the lord was not in the fire, and after the fire there was a sound of a gentle whisper. “ -1st Kings 19:12

It’s easy to believe that God is in loud shouts of religious people or popular televangelists, but truthfully, God is found in the quietness and stillness of your heart. Train yourself to hear and wait on that sweet gentle whisper.