I watched a you tube video last night about how to recognize an abusive leader. Some of this qualities are hard to spot. Previously, I’ve said many don’t even know they are being abused or that they are being abusive. The key is to educate oneself and educate others. Also, know there is always room at the cross of Jesus Christ for forgiveness. If you see yourself in this, repent. The Lord is merciful and eager to forgive. Here are the notes I took from the message:
1 Corinthians: 4:1-21
-We are apostles, administrators of the gospel…- Sergio prayed, that the Lord speak through this.
*3 purposes of this video: -1) Lift up Jesus name 2) Reach lost 3) Edify the church- spread the gospel of Jesus Christ.
*When Jesus asked Peter: “Do you love me? …Feed my sheep!”
*Leaders have made themselves the Holy Spirit, they are lifting themselves up as God. They claim to be infallible. *There are many good leaders out there. *Bad leaders want you to fear them more than God.
Characteristics of an abusive leader:
1) They are the sole authority. They demand people to listen to them because they are the leader. They are not of God! In Jesus’s church, the pastor is not the boss, the deacon is not the boss, Jesus is the boss! We are to be governed by the book called the bible! We are to be governed by this book! If your pastor does not go by the bible, your leader and pastor is wrong! It doesn’t matter how much he studies or paid to buy the building. Jesus purchased his sheep with His blood! An abusive pastor will say “I am the boss of this church!” This is an abusive leader. This is an authoritative leader, a Fidel Castro! The leader must be loving. He must be a servant. He must help the people.
An abusive leader will not want people asking where their tithes and offering money go to. He will tell the people, “Don’t ask about where the tithes and offering are going to. Here, no one questions me. What do you think I’m a thief?” I will spend it according to the will of God! This is reverse psychology used to trick. They take out all kinds of scriptures and confuse you. Be very careful!
2) The leader will make you feel like nothing. The leader will keep bringing up your sins. Because the lower he can bring you down, the higher he can lift himself up. Leaders need to be healed. People need to help leaders. There should be a growth process.
3) The leader is partial and shows favoritism to ones and not others. Those who have been faithful and helpful to him are the good ones to him to him. He has a select group. These leaders do not have the love of God. This is not the heart of God. This is a dictator. These leaders come dressed nice with body guards. They lift the leader high. They abuse authority. They say, “God gave me authority!” This is true, God gives His people authority but it has limits! When we pass these limits, it’s called abuse of power. The bible is very clear on what to do with the Lords Sheep! Protect, Heal, Restore, Protect, etc. It is your job!
4) They don’t trust anybody. They have the spirit of Saul. They are thinking someone is going to take away my throne. When David comes, he is jealous. They say Saul killed 1,000, but David killed his 10,000…I should kill him. They can’t bear the fact that anyone can preach or teach better than them. No! They cannot stand this! They are gods. Nobody is infallible. We are human beings!
5) They embarrass you in public. A leader should take you in private and talk to you. They should not embarrass you and say things about you from the pulpit. That is an abusive leader. These are leaders that God did not put in that place. They placed themselves there!
6) A leader that tries to take all the money they can out of you.
*There are good leaders out there! I have seen them! But also, leaders are not too submissive either. A good leader leads by example.
If you are in an abusive church, if they do these things to you, you are in the wrong place. Don’t let anyone make you less. You can ask questions! You can talk to your pastor. Ask questions if you are confused. If they tell you “shut up, you can’t ask questions”, this is called a synagogue of Satan. Be very careful. Ask questions to examine the word. Test this.